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The Curious Case of Saint Nicholas and the Clatter on the Lawn

Today, a gift from our Small Town Family to yours.

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Yeardley: [00:00:08] Small Town Fam, it’s Christmas Eve. And whether or not you celebrate, we’re so happy that you’re with us this evening. We have a very, very special treat, because Detectives Dan and Dave are going to read the classic poem. It’s actually called A Visit from St. Nicholas. But most of us know it as, The Night Before Christmas, by Clement Clarke Moore. Grab yourselves a tasty beverage, something sweet nibble on and settle in for the night before Christmas.


Dan: [00:00:53] Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Dave: [00:01:00] The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

Dan: [00:01:06] The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads. And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap, had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.

Dave: [00:01:20] When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash. Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, gave a lustre of midday to objects below.

Dan: [00:01:38] When what to my wondering eyes did appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer. With a little old driver so lively and quick, I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.

Dave: [00:01:52] More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, and he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.

Dan: [00:01:59] “Now, Dasher. Now, Dancer. Now, Prancer and Vixen. On, Comet. On, Cupid. On, Donner and Blitzen. To the top of the porch. To the top of the wall. Now dash away, dash away, dash away all.”

Dave: [00:02:11] As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky. So up to the housetop the coursers they flew, with the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

Dan: [00:02:24] And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof, the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As I drew in my head, and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.

Dave: [00:02:44] A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

Dan: [00:02:50] His eyes, how they twinkled. His dimples, how merry. His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry. His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.

Dave: [00:03:05] The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath. He had a broad face and a little round belly, that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf. And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.

Dan: [00:03:25] A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread.

Dave: [00:03:32] He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings then turned with a jerk.

Dan: [00:03:40] And laying his finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod up the chimney, he rose.

Dave: [00:03:46] He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew, like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight.

Dan and Dave: [00:03:58] “Happy Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.”

[music ends]

Yeardley: [00:04:11] In lieu of our regular main credits, I thought I would take this opportunity to thank you, the fans, for being the best fans in the pod universe. Season 9 is a wrap and Dan, Dave, and I can’t thank you enough for listening, for writing to us with all the thoughts and questions, and for spreading the word about Small Town Dicks to everyone you know.

We also want to say a huge thank you to our team behind the scenes at Small Town Dicks. This group of extraordinary humans epitomizes the analogy of the duck, where everything looks calm on the surface, but just below the water level, they’re paddling like mad. Yes, this group of shining stars includes our senior editor extraordinaire, Logan Heftel. Our other editor extraordinaire, Soren Begin. Our keep-all-the-plates-in-the-air producer, Gary Scott. The two producers who do all the extra tasks so nothing slips through the cracks. Erin Gaynor and Nick Smith. Our clever, funny, creative social media manager and meme maker, Monika Scott. Alec Cowan, the guy who will cold call any police department anywhere in the world, in search of new detectives for Dan and Dave to vet and hopefully have on the podcast. And last, but never least, our cat wrangler and book cooker, a man who’s also been my business partner for the past 11 plus years, a dude who always brings a smile to my face, Ben Cornwell.

So, there you have it, Small Town Fam, that’s the team. We are a tiny independent organization. And from all of us, to all of you, we wish you a tasty and joyous holiday season. You make us feel lucky. Thank you for that. Nobody is better than you.